You’ve undoubtedly been briefly blinded by a Gemini’s talk and charisma if you’ve hooked up with her. It’s like being inside a butterfly pavilion when you’re with a Gemini. You don’t know where to look first because everything is so light and airy, so attractive and fascinating. Her tinkerbell giggle and childish enthusiasm in everyone and everything will fascinate you. You’ll believe you’ve been transported to a kingdom of fairies and fairy dust. You haven’t, believe me.
She’s shallow, ADHD, unable to commit, anxious, and has no sense of direction.
To her whirling dervish of a mind, everything is fresh, entertaining, and interesting, thus she remembers very little knowledge and is continually flying off to the next flower. She’s a tease because she can’t commit to one person and sex is frequently ‘too much’ for her, so she flits around driving everyone, including her spouse, insane. She’s also a ball of nerves due to her inclination to bite off more than she can chew, according to her dual nature.
In This Article...
Cancer (June 21st July 22nd)
Be prepared to cry if you’re dealing with a Cancer. Nonstop. Over and beyond everything. The woman has low self-esteem and is constantly seeking external validation. Due to her thick outer shell, she may appear intriguing and enigmatic at first, but once you’ve broken through and dedicated yourself to her, she transforms into a stage 9 clinger.
But, hey, not everything is horrible. If you’re a tit-man, you’re in for a treat since Cancer women have excellent racks.
Leo (July 23rd August 22nd)
The Leo woman’s mantra is “Off with their heads!” She doesn’t simply idolize Beyonc; she believes she is her, and you, peasant, will treat her accordingly. She possesses a jealous streak that rivals that of a Taurus or Scorpio woman, with the added bonus of a flare for the dramatic. Prepare for public fights, drinks thrown in your face, screaming about how lucky you are that she even spoke to you, how she can’t believe she wasted her time with someone who only made/did/went to (insert income/job/school here), and then stomping off with one of her stilettos.
You might believe she stomped off home, but chances are she stomped off to your apartment once she calmed down. Now that the panther has licked her wounds a little, you might find your Leo lady on the kitten side. You’ll find her snuggled up in your bed, smelling like a perfume store, her skin gleaming, her makeup flawless, her hair cascading all over her leopard print silk nightie, and nearly cooing to you about how sorry she is.
Virgo (August 23rd September 22nd)
The original nagger, complainer, and hypochondriac is the Virgo woman. It appears charming at first: she expresses her love through deeds of service. You’ll never have to inquire where your socks are, if a payment has been paid, or what’s for dinner because she’s so organized. Everything will be pre-planned and taken care of, with an excel spreadsheet and a Google calendar marked off for the following six months.
Slowly, however, the nagging begins. The complaints. The phantom ailments. Because of all the vitamins she takes, your house will smell like protein powder and B-12 tablets (and will make you take too). What began as a friendly nudge to go to the gym more or enroll in that evening class will quickly escalate into a full-fledged critique of your beer gut and lack of professional ambition. While the sex will be earthy and sensual at first (although there will be a towel spread out and don’t get a drop on the covers), it will eventually dry up totally. If that isn’t enough to make you flee, the humidifier, nasal strips, compression socks, white cotton granny underwear, and neck pillow strategically placed to promote a restful, healthy sheep should. Unless you’re another Virgo, in which case you can live happily ever after in a small hypoallergenic bubble with her.
Libra (September 23rd October 22nd)
Consider the first time you met your lovely Libra lady. Remember how she grinned, tossed her hair, and looked at you as if you were the only and most intriguing person on the planet? Remember how you felt like royalty when you left? You certainly aren’t. That’s something she does with everyone. It’s how she obtains what she wants.
Libra’s ‘psycho’ comes out quickly, but she’s so good at convincing people to see what she wants them to see that you might never notice. Manipulation comes as naturally to her as breathing. She’s socially graceful, charming, and a superb conversationalist. She has so many friends and lovers, and she is so good at keeping them apart, that she doesn’t simply live a double life; she lives a tripe, quadruple existence. But damn if she isn’t nice and feminine, and she doesn’t look at you like the big powerful man (or lady) you are, you won’t believe a word I say! (Believe me when I say I’m a Libra.) In the end, it’s your indecisiveness that will do you in, not your lying, half-truths, or manipulating. Until the cows come home, this woman can discuss and deliberate. Fortunately for you, Libra is a pretty self-absorbed sign, so she won’t notice you’ve packed your belongings and left town until you’ve been gone for quite some time. She was too preoccupied with the benefits of ketchup versus catsup to notice.
Scorpio (October 23rd November 21st)
I’m not going to go into detail about how the Scorpio woman drew you in. Probably a combination of sexual titillation, fierce intelligence, and “The Rules.” This woman understands the game and plays it flawlessly.
If you do cross her, don’t say you weren’t warned. Pluto, the planet of death, destruction, and regeneration, is Scorpio’s natural ruler. Mars, the planet named for the God of War, is their secondary ruler. This is a powerful combination. She can, and frequently does, play a long game. This is the woman who will bear the knowledge of your affair for months on end, smiling sweetly at you the entire time while putting arsenic in your coffee. This is the woman who will track down the person you’re sleeping with and torture them with anonymous letters and threats, hang-up phone calls, drive-bys, and other forms of mental abuse. Miss Scorpio will do it so deftly that everyone will believe your lover is insane. Here’s the woman who, in the end, will find your favorite items and set them on fire while you watch, then walk out the door with your childhood best friend, whom she’d enslaved from the moment she discovered you’d wronged her. Revenge isn’t just a cold-weather dish for her; it’s her all-time favorite.
Sagittarius (November 22nd December 21st )
Sags, the zodiac’s archers, are recognized for their agility, sense of humor, and friendly demeanor. They’re the proverbial ‘lampshade-on-the-head’ party gals, with a live-and-let-live attitude and raunchy quips that will have you gripping your sides. The archer lady, like their male counterparts, doesn’t see the sense in wasting time before leaping into bed with you. Why are you staying? Even though she’s laid-back, she’s free of preconceived notions about female sexuality, and she won’t pester you with queries like “Where is this going?” or “I never do that, I hope you don’t think I’m a slut!”
What’s the true reason she hasn’t blown up your phone? She’s too preoccupied with doing it for everyone. When you catch her cheating for the seventh or eighth time (and she won’t try to conceal it, because Sags are all about honesty), she’ll be perplexed as to why you’re so upset. The dishes will fly as she becomes enraged that you are attempting to ‘own’ her. In addition to the television. And there’s the radio. As well as your weight. She’ll also take anything she can get her hands on. While she’s wrecking your home, she’ll be telling you how she feels in the crudest language possible, with no regard for your feelings. What is my best piece of advice for someone dating a Sagittarius lady? Make sure you have the number of a good clinic on speed dial in case you need an emergency shot of penicillin when she returns from her Vegas road trip. Except for that troublesome case of the clap she carried home with her, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Capricorn: (December 22nd January 19th)
You probably met your Capricorn girl at a ‘classy’ event, such as a high-end auction, a law firm meetup group, or interning at the White House. This is due to the girl’s ambitions. She’s driven in every sense of the word, and nothing will stop her from attaining her objectives. Nobody, not even you. You, in particular.
With her twinsets, pearls, and nicely highlighted hair, she’s the kind of girl you can take home to mum. She’s highly intelligent, and she’ll be able to converse with your mother about cuisine and your father about politics. In the bedroom, she’s a firebrand, and most kinks don’t bother her. But, before you ask yourself, “What’s the problem?” Let’s start with YOU, dear reader. You almost certainly have a family with money, connections, or a surname. She isn’t with you because she enjoys your company. She’s with you because she can get something from you. You’re nothing more than a stepping stone on her route to the top, and once she gets there (and believe me, she will), you’ll have served your purpose and be put aside. If the sex was good, she might keep you around for a few more years to vent her frustrations, or perhaps persuade you to marry her, but tread carefully. The Capricorn lady only has one person in mind, and it’s not you.
Aquarius: (January 20th February 18th)
The water-bearers are adorable and odd. You most likely met her while working at the animal shelter where you got your dog. She’ll always be outspoken and intelligent, and she appears to be laid-back and optimistic. She’s a true humanitarian who knows her thoughts and sticks to her guns when she makes a decision.
When all that unusual, eccentric energy becomes irritating, things will start to go south. You’ll have a hard time following her logic because she’ll use obscure quotes and non-sequiturs. Aquarius is the zodiac’s most distant sign, therefore she doesn’t really have any pals, just a lot of diverse acquaintances from various backgrounds that she accumulates. She has no concept how to interact to another person, physically or emotionally, so when your grandma passes away and you’re crying and heartbroken, she’ll probably just gaze at you and ask why you’re grievingafter all, she was 87 years old.
She won’t waste much time worrying about it after that, instead shrugging her shoulders and returning her gaze to her book on underwater basket weaving or whatever other ridiculous topic she’s currently fascinated by. She’s exceedingly selfish sexuallyagain, since she has a loner complex and is entirely cut off from her partner and friends. She’ll let you do all the work and never thought to return the favor. You won’t be the one to leave eventually; you’ll just wake up one day to find that she’s packed her belongings and left the nation to work with disadvantaged llamas in Nepal, leaving behind nothing but her astronomy diorama and a few science fiction books she couldn’t fit in her bag.
Pisces (February 19th March 20th)
You most likely met this girl at a bar, as she enjoys getting her drink on. And she’s still doing coke. And she’s got her molly on. Whatever it takes to get blotto. Pisces are the zodiac’s junkies. While all that drinking and recreational drug usage may appear to be enjoyable and carefree at first, it gradually evolves into a string of debilitating hangovers, as well as an empty cash account from all those excursions to the bar.
Pisces women are even less ambitious than Gemini women. She’ll work if she has to, but she’d rather spend her days and nights in a bottle, composing nonsense poetry, smearing paint on a canvas, or simply staring at the sky. You’ll start fighting because “you have no concept what it’s like to be her.” She has a martyr complex. She’ll become somber and dark, speaking in short terms and attempting suicide thinly veiled. Her rage flares up now and then, with its drunken lashing tongue and uncontrollable crying fits. Once you realize that all the tears, liquor, and drugs were never truly going to end in suicide, you’ll eventually acquire the strength to come up for air and dry out and dry up from your Pisces girl, you’ll eventually recover in your own rehab clinic.
Is Taurus a lunatic?
The Taurus, despite their image for being aggressive and angry all the time, is actually quite peaceful and laid back.
They have a calm demeanor and a strong presence, and they appreciate relaxing and enjoying life away from the daily grind.
But Taurus WON’T take crap and if you attack them they will fire back HARD.
Only when the Taurus is provoked does their violent side emerge, and when it does, well, let’s just say you don’t want to be on the receiving end of it.
Taurus’ wrath is similar to that of the bull, and when they are assaulted, they prefer to fire back twice as strongly and without hesitation.
Taurus is independent and incredibly self reliant.
Taurus personality traits are frequently connected with independence and self-reliance, and for good cause.
They are self-starters and achievers who want to make their own fortunes rather than rely on others’ freebies.
Taurus is often called upon for advice because they are FULL of common sense.
Taurus is recognized for their practical mentality, which is why they are frequently sought out by friends and loved ones who require a second opinion or just some sound advise.
Taurus will provide you with a good dose of common sense when troubles occur.
Taurus is attracted to consistency, reliability and a sense of humor.
Taurus is looking for a companion that has their life in order. They require someone who is trustworthy and who they can rely on.
But they also appreciate someone with a sense of humour and the ability to make them laugh… well, they’ll be putty in your hands.
Taurus they can be notoriously impatient at times.
One of the Taurus’ more negative characteristics would have to be their little tolerance for delays, cues, or anything else that is slow and mind-numbingly tedious.
Taurus is a go-getter, so getting in their way and preventing them from pushing forward may be extremely frustrating.
Taurus is honest and good for their word.
Taurus is not a game player and prefers to be open and honest with others.
Taurus’ honesty and straightforward manner may come across as blunt to some, but those closest to him respect and appreciate it.
Taurus has a stubborn side that doesn’t back down easily.
The rumors are correct. Taurus can be a stubborn animal at times, especially when they are convinced that they are correct.
They are strong-willed persons with clear opinions, and changing their minds might be difficult for them.
Taurus would do just about anything for their loved ones.
Taurus might be direct and stern at times, but they also have a compassionate and loving side, especially when it comes to the people they love.
They adore seeing their friends and family happy, and will go to great lengths to ensure that this happens.
Taurus craves structure, security and stability and tries to minimize chaos.
Taurus values structure and order in their lives and prioritizes the safety of themselves and their loved ones.
They don’t enjoy unpleasant surprises and want to know what’s coming around the next corner.
Taurus is a REALIST who deals in FACTS.
Taurus may appear to be a pessimist or a “glass half full” type to others, but the truth is that Taurus is simply a realist.
They have a good grasp on reality and like to examine situations objectively, focusing on facts rather than fiction.
Taurus is mentally tough and extremely resilient.
Taurus is a robust and resilient sign that can bounce back no matter how many times they fall down in life.
They’re also frequently a ‘rock’ in their family and a pillar of support for their loved ones.
Taurus is loyal til the very end to those who have earned their trust.
It takes time to genuinely win a Taurus’ trust and allegiance, but once you do, you may consider them a lifelong ally.
Taurus is often regarded as one of the most trustworthy signs in the zodiac, and many people trust them with their most intimate secrets.
Taurus can drive their friends CRAZY when they are stressed.
Taurus isn’t always the best at dealing with stress, and when they’re frustrated, they’ll vent their frustrations by screaming and raving like a lunatic.
Taurus has a sixth sense for detecting lies and can sniff you out if you’re being ‘fake’.
The Taurus has a strong ability to detect habitual liars and anyone who is acting falsely.
They demand the same civility in return since they are honest with you, and if you can’t manage that, they will have very little time for you.
Taurus can get hit by heartbreak HARD and it can take a long time for their wounds to heal.
Despite their tremendous endurance to most life’s setbacks, heartbreak is something they frequently struggle with.
They can find it difficult to let go and move on, and it can take a long time for them to rehabilitate and get back on their feet.
Taurus gets frustrated by indecisive personalities who can’t make up their mind.
Because one of the most typical Taurus characteristics is decisiveness, they might become quite upset when dealing with wishy-washy individuals that change their minds every damn second.
If you’re having trouble making a decision, the Taurus will most likely make it for you.
Taurus strives for comfort and the good life.
Taurus is a sign that enjoys being pampered and has a taste for the better things in life. They had high dreams of making it big and living the good life.
They normally put in a lot of effort, so they don’t mind splurging and indulging every now and then.
Taurus is reliable and the one that you want to have around when things hit the fan.
Sometimes you simply need that one extremely loyal and trustworthy friend who you can always bank on no matter what.
For many people, Taurus is exactly that. They won’t vanish just because things are tough, and they’ll frequently step in to save the day when they see their loved ones in distress.
Taurus is focused, determined and knows how to HUSTLE.
Never underestimate a Taurus who has set his or her sights on a goal…
Their intense desire, along with a never-say-die attitude, allows them to achieve great things and reach the top!
What flaw does a Taurus woman have?
If you’re familiar with zodiac sign clichs, you’re probably aware that Taureans can be stubborn. They prefer to do things their way, and once they’ve made up their minds or committed to anything, they’re usually not interested in receiving advise or accepting help. It may be beneficial for these unmovable bulls to develop flexibility.