The timing of telling your loved ones that you have cancer is entirely up to you. The news that someone has cancer has shocked everyone. When they are in a position like this, most people need and want to talk to someone. Giving close pals a heads-up can even be more crucial for single persons without nearby supporting family members. Plan beforehand so you can respond when they ask how they can assist by telling them what they can accomplish. Compared to those who live with others, persons who live alone frequently have a few extra demands.
Informing your loved ones might occasionally assist you grasp the reality of what is taking place. Some people discover that as their family and friends ask inquiries, they start to think about other difficulties and start to solve problems.
Consider how much you want to divulge. You might want to describe the type of cancer you have, any potential treatments, and your prognosis (or prognosis). Write down any questions you have as you converse with people so you can share them with your cancer care team later.
In This Article...
How can one learn they have cancer?
Your doctor must determine if a symptom or screening test result that implies cancer is caused by cancer or by another condition. Your personal and family medical history may be discussed at first, followed by a physical examination. Lab tests, imaging tests (scans), and other tests or procedures may also be prescribed by the doctor. A biopsy may also be required because it is frequently the only way to determine for certain if you have cancer.
On this page, we discuss some of the common tests for cancer diagnosis. You might have further testing as well, depending on the symptoms you have. See the PDQ cancer treatment summaries for adult and pediatric cancers to find out more about how particular tumors are diagnosed. Each specific type of cancer is covered in-depth in these summaries, along with images of the diagnostic procedures and testing.
How do I break the news that someone has cancer?
2. Patients and their families may never forget the doctor’s callousness if they were given the diagnosis in an impolite manner.
Physicians should make an effort to be truthful from the outset and provide all the information that is available. Don’t base a diagnosis on information that hasn’t been verified. Once a definitive diagnosis of cancer has been made, begin with a “suspicion” or “possibility” of cancer and present accurate information.
Despite the need for precise explanation, avoid overwhelming the patient with information without taking into account how they are feeling. Be prepared to present the information as simply and clearly as possible. Patients cannot be expected to manage everything on their own.
Sometimes doctors will inform patients that there is nothing they can do because their cancer has advanced. In your situation, there is no cure that works. Patients experience despair, rage, resignation, and a sense of estrangement as a result of the doctor’s callous demeanor. Physicians should be aware that by their words or demeanor, they have the power to inspire both optimism and despair in their patients. Instead of abandoning a patient with such a message, doctors could highlight other benefits, such as supportive care.
At an outpatient clinic, disclosing the diagnosis and bad news is a frequent practice. Ample time should be allotted for explanation, and further thought is required. Doctors should visit psychiatrists when patients are really nervous. Options like encouraging patients by calling them again the day the cancer diagnosis is revealed or talking to them again after finishing all obligations at the outpatient clinic can sometimes be quite successful.
Patients are wary of doctors and occasionally even dread them. Because they feel like they should follow the doctor’s instructions, some patients find it difficult to express their emotions when given their diagnosis or to ask doctors questions. However, some patients are more honest and may inquire about their diagnoses when speaking with nurses. Therefore, it is crucial for doctors to hear patients’ actual problems and feelings through nurses. In this case, collaboration between doctors and nurses is crucial.
Don’t feel compelled to give every detail at once. It is advised to speak with patients multiple times to go over the diagnosis in detail.
It’s crucial to put yourself in the patient’s shoes and refrain from making hasty judgments about a patient’s reactions.
Whenever feasible, the patients themselves must initially be informed of the diagnosis.
As much as is possible, the patient remains under the care of the same doctor from the first interaction to the final therapy. This enables truly informed consent, allowing the patient to calmly choose from a variety of available treatment techniques. Care must be taken not to damage the patient’s rapport if a circumstance arises where the physician in charge may change.
It is important to carefully select the setting for the diagnosis discussion so that the patients can fully express their emotions if necessary in a private setting. Under no circumstances should the diagnosis be discussed over the phone, in passing in a hallway, or in any other public setting. According to a survey, 55% of patients who received their diagnosis over the phone had unpleasant emotions (
How should one discuss cancer?
A cancer diagnosis can cause emotions such as despair, rage, perplexity, and helplessness. It is beneficial when friends and family members offer a consoling presence and practical support to the individual who has been diagnosed with cancer. It might be challenging for others to approach someone who has cancer and initiate discussion. But staying in touch is always preferable to disappearing. Here are some ideas to assist you in expressing your support:
Take direction from the cancer patient. Ask the cancer patient if they would want to discuss their experience. It is preferable to let them choose when to speak and how much information to divulge.
express your support in silence. You can also demonstrate caring and support through your body language and facial emotions. When speaking, maintain eye contact, pay close attention, and put away your phone. Sharing some quiet time without needing to fill it with speech is an essential part of offering assistance.
Pick your words wisely. Be sure to recognize the person’s difficulty in dealing with this situation. You can express your support without being dismissive or avoiding the subject by carefully selecting your words. For instance, it is preferable to state, “I’m at a loss for words other than to cease contacting or visiting out of sheer terror.
The following are some phrases you might use to express your concern and support:
Examples of ineffective language are provided below:
Use active listening techniques. Professionals utilize this tactic to convey respect. It helps you demonstrate that you are empathizing with the speaker’s thoughts and feelings. Give the other person your entire attention, refrain from planning your next move or rushing to wrap up the talk in order to be an active listener.
When posing queries, exercise discretion. Consider how you phrase your inquiries and how many you ask throughout a conversation. It can get irritating when friends and family members repeatedly ask people with cancer a lot of questions.
To give counsel, make sure it is acceptable. Ask for permission before giving any advice, and be ready to stop if you receive a negative response. If you have an idea and feel moved to share it, get the other person’s consent first. Unwanted counsel may lead to unneeded worry.
Be sincere about your emotions while without overburdening. Share any emotions you may be having in response to the person’s cancer diagnosis, such as worry, anxiety, anger, or denial. But endeavor to keep your explanations succinct. The person with cancer may get overwhelmed and disturbed if you spend too much time discussing the tough feelings you are experiencing. Give yourself some space to gather your thoughts if you find it difficult to remain composed before speaking again. Meeting with a counselor could prove to be beneficial for processing and controlling your emotions.
Discuss subjects other than cancer. A sense of equilibrium may be created by engaging in routine conversation. The goal is to support your friend or family member in maintaining regular relationships and interests while giving them a respite from tough conversations, not to divert them.
Encourage the person to continue participating. Help your friend or family member choose how to carry on with their regular activities and habits. Many cancer patients find that following those stages helps them get through a period of many new experiences. However, some people may be prevented from engaging in regular activities and routines by a lack of time or energy caused by cancer or its treatment.
You might be able to assist your friend or relative with allocating additional duties and helping them prioritize the things they want to do. For instance, when requesting volunteers to assist with domestic duties, you could advise your friend or family member to conserve energy by going to his or her child’s soccer game or school play.
Ask if any kind of assistance would be useful. Give particular instances of how you could assist in cancer treatment. Check to see if their advice sounds useful. Run errands, take care of pets, drive the person to an appointment, or pick up the kids from school are a few suggestions. This strategy is preferable to saying, “Since some people find it difficult to ask for assistance, please let me know if you require any assistance. You can offer to organize everyone’s efforts if plenty of friends and family members volunteer to assist. Some online communities offer tools that make it easier to manage everyone’s participation.
Why do people conceal their cancer diagnosis?
But even people who are typically outgoing choose cancer confidentiality soon after receiving the bad news for logical reasons such as not wanting to burden friends or alarm people they care about, fearing judgment for cancers related to lifestyle choices, hoping to avoid awkward conversations, hoping not to jeopardize their job, and hoping that handling the news will help them control what seems like an uncontrollable situation.
But as communication about various cancer types and treatments becomes more prominent in the media, in ordinary conversations, and through social media, Fann noted, it appears that people are choosing to hide their disease less frequently these days.
Newly diagnosed patients typically tell Dr. Bart Scott twice a year that they don’t want anyone to know they have cancer.
Cancer should be disclosed to friends?
Be sincere. Knowing the truth now is preferable for your family and friends than finding out later. If they find out later, they may feel hurt and unhappy that they haven’t been able to help you. If it’s unclear if your treatment will be effective, tell your family and friends.
The two-week rule is what?
What is a ‘Two Week Wait’ referral? A “Two Week Wait” referral is when your general practitioner (GP) asks the hospital to schedule an urgent visit for you because you are experiencing symptoms that could be cancer-related.
How can I tell my story about cancer?
Although it might be challenging to open up to others, many cancer patients find comfort and unanticipated advantages by sharing their stories. Even though some people might initially be hesitant to share such a private and exposed aspect of their lives, those who have found the strength to come forward and reach out to those who share a similar condition have given themselves the chance to experience a change in their general state of wellbeing.
Model and actress Rachelle, 32, found it difficult to accept and discuss her situation with others. She never anticipated getting such a diagnosis, especially because she thought of herself as being in excellent health. Nothing I did could have contributed to the development of cancer. She remarked, “I was just in such shock.
It is quite uncommon for a lady her age to be diagnosed with advanced (stage IV) follicular non-Hodgkin lymphoma. In particular, outside of her close friends and family, Rachelle found it challenging to talk about her disease. The opportunity to share her story with others in an online support group was beneficial to her. “During my battle with cancer, that was the single best thing I did. She claimed, “I didn’t feel alone.”
Cancer patients are frequently reminded that they are not alone when they hear about other people’s experiences. It encourages interaction with other cancer patients and uplifts both the speaker and the listener.
Mental and spiritual well-being are correlated with physical well-being. Although it could seem that your personal issues are none of other people’s concern, the act of opening up enables you to let go of any stored negative feelings, stress, or anger that you may have as a result of the experience. You’ll be able to recognise your circumstances more readily and enhance the quality of your life as you release this emotional baggage.
Sharing your experience also enables you to accept aspects of yourself that may be challenging to do so. By doing this, you may let go of your fear and all of the harmful effects it may have on you. It might encourage recovery and give you a new sense of purpose when you stop letting your circumstances dictate how you feel. In contrast, your difficulties and your ability to overcome them inspire others to maintain their fortitude in the face of adversity.
It was difficult for Dr. Kalanithi, a well-known doctor, to accept the irony of his situation and give up on the responsibilities of his career after learning that he had metastatic, stage IV lung cancer. He did not pay attention to his symptoms until he was unable to complete his work. When Breath Becomes Air, his memoir that detailed his experience and revealed how accepting death altered his priorities, was written by him. He used his disease to provide himself with answers to existential issues and, in the process, to motivate others. After he passed away, his memoir was released.
The optimist sees opportunity in every struggle, according to Winston Churchill, whereas the pessimist sees difficulty in every chance. By talking about your experience, you can see your situation from a different perspective, stop seeing yourself as a victim and start seeing the struggle as a source of strength. Dr. Kalanithi was able to escape his suffering by making the decision to write about his battle with cancer. He made use of that event to explore his own reality and grasp on mortality as well as to impart the lessons his own struggles had taught him.
Sharing your experiences through storytelling helps you to express yourself, comprehend what you’re going through or have gone through, and how that experience may have changed you. The process of sharing your experience also enables you to realize that, regardless of the hand you are dealt, you are the author of your own life and that it is your decisions and responses to what occurs that can change the result rather than just the scenario. In practice, storytelling aids in reinforcing your values and can occasionally even help you identify what you genuinely value in life.
Overall, sharing your cancer experience allows you to tap into your creative capabilities and convert it into a motivation to improve things. This may be done through online forums and support groups, mentoring other cancer patients, or even turning it into a form of art or literature.
There is a proverb that reads, “Learning is the beginning of wisdom; sharing is the beginning of humanity.” When cancer patients speak up about their experiences, they not only influence other patients but also their loved ones, friends, and everyone else who reads their story. They promote empathy, a deeper comprehension of how disease impacts a person’s life, as well as inspiration and drive for overcoming any challenge. No matter what the difficulty may be, having a sense of community and camaraderie gives us hope and strength to overcome it.
Can cancer make you feel good?
6. The medical establishment is concealing a cancer treatment that exists. The rate of cancer development among Americans who study and treat cancer is the same as that of the general population, which probably would not occur if a cancer cure were available. Additionally, because there are so many different types of cancer, there is no such thing as a single miracle treatment for them all.
7. If you feel well, you don’t have cancer because cancer is always a painful sickness. Numerous cancers have minimal to no pain, especially in the beginning stages. For the early detection of cancer, it is crucial to pay attention to additional symptoms, which is why routine screenings are advised for malignancies of the cervix, breast, and colon.
8. There’s a good chance you’ll develop cancer if your parents did. A family history of cancer does not guarantee that you will also develop the disease, however the likelihood varies depending on the type of cancer. Only 5 to 10% of the time, some cancers like breast, ovarian, and colorectal cancer are passed on to the next generation in an inherited form.
having knowledge at your disposal
The greatest strategy to fight every type of cancer is to rely on facts rather than urban legends.
How do you tell someone they have cancer?
Avoid using euphemisms and medical jargon; be direct yet kind. Allow for tears and silence; follow the patient’s pace. Ask the patient to explain how they interpreted the news, and then reiterate it at subsequent appointments. Give yourself enough time to respond to inquiries, record your thoughts, and offer written materials.